Rihan ( name is changed) was a happy go lucky and enthusiastic person. He was good at studies, sports, music and social activities. He was enjoying his life fully. There were some ups and downs considering studies and minor family conflicts with brother which are there in almost every family; and he was trying to manage all this normaly the way everyone of us tries to handle. Going to hostel was a big change for him because for the first time he was going to be away from family but he learned to saty alone and was trying to do things independently. Overall, everything was going smooth without hurdles and Rihan was progressing further in his life satisfactorily.
It was a bright sunny day and Rihan’s friends called him for playing football. He was not feeling like to go; so he refused. This kind of refusing to be with friends was unusual for him but started happening frequently.
He could not enjoy his guitar playing the way he used to enjoy before. There was constant feeling of sadness and emptiness and sometimes he would cry without any reason. As the days were passing; he was more and more aloof and the sadness, helplessness,hopelessness was occupyig his mind fully.
One of Rihan’s friend noticed his change in behavior and spoke to him about it. After talking to friend Rihan realised that this state of mind is going on since many months and his quality of life and state of mind is deteriorating day by day. Moreover, now its affecting his sleep, self hygiene, he almost lost the desire to have food, his concentration in studies was disturbed. His mind was full of negative thoughts and he lost all the hopes to live a meaningful life. At least after ventilating his feelings with friend; he felt little bit better and also he could gauge severity of whatever he was going through.
As his friend realised that Rihan needs emotional care and attention he decided to take this seriously. It was difficult to convince Rihan for a morning walk but somehow he got convinced for 15 mins walk. they started exercising and while doing walk his friend started brainstorming some other activities if they can add. Surprisingly, slight positive change in sleep and appetite were significant differences in his routine. Exercise releases endorphins which help in reducing stress and improves mood.
These outdoor activities were not only motivating him for futher plannings but also they were uplifting his mood. He still wasnt doing things mindfully and there was no mood to play guitar or playing football but he dragged himself into these activities and started socialising.
Rihan noticed that due to exercise he has started with some healthy routine which is taking him towards normalcy.From inside he started to feel like experimenting new things and learning new skills although sometimes he has to forcefully carry himself as he wasn’t feeling optimum happiness from within , he was somehow managing to come back to normal.
As he was dragging himself, his friend group also started to support him in doing studies, managing assignments. There was always somebody with him so that he wont be feeling lonely. It was more than six months he was not much improving from his sadness and wasn’t feeling that good; so he decided to seek professional help. He explained everything and medicines were started. During counselling sessions many hidden hurts,conflicts and disturbances got resolved which he never thought that can create so many disturbances in body and mind… He realised the importance of being emotionaly healthy. After six months of treatment gradually his medicines were reduced and stopped.
Now he was more confident. He was otpimistic and goal oriented. He also realised meanings of friendships and develpoed insight about emotional wellbeing. He started giving equal importance to physical and emotional health. He came on track faster due to all these helps and started gaining happiness out of life again.
Many of us experience almost same kind of things in our life. Firstly, we want to ignore if it comes to our self care. We hardly bother of our emotions in this everyday running race. We are much concerned of the number of likes on the social media photos but hardly bother about our creative interests and developing them. We are always behind the numbers, number of marks ,number of friends on social media,number of relationships, number of money earnings etc. but hardly care about the severity and intensity of happiness or sadness within our own self. Fortunately or unfortunately there are no numbers for happiness, you can’t measure the amount of guilt you have. You can’t rate your happiness in numbers. There are no measurements for love,kindness, humility and so on.
You believe it or not these all kind of positive as well as negative emotions are present within us. Its up to us that which kind of emotions we want to bring to forefront. Similarly’ the world is full with the all kind of people whom we like or dislike whom we consider positive or negative. Its our choice which kind of people to take seriously. If we choose to be with people who are optimistic, kind and generous then I am sure we will start developing our-self in positive way because these human values are already within us.
Sometimes’ the negativity in our mind increases so much that we land up with people who are aggressive, negative and problematic and vice versa. Such people and situations create negativity in ourselves and it takes time to come out of it.
These darker shades of mind like feeling lonely and sad, helpless and hopeless, low self esteem, loss of interest in doing routine activities, decreased interest in things which someone was enjoying before crying spells, tiredness, bodyache, headache, slowness in activities are all symptoms of depression. If these symptoms are persistant and affecting sleep, appetite, disturbing activities of daily life then need to take professional help to stop worsening and for speedy recovery.
Depression can happen to anyone and there can be reasons or without any reason also it can happen..as we get stomach problems or kidney probles; similarly depression is an illness which can be cured..It can happen due to emtional traumas-exam failure,loss of job, break up in relationship, rejection, financial loss, death in family or close friend, long term severe stress, if there is a depression in someone in close family member etc. Also nowadays, through social media, cyberbullying, relating oneself with celebrity depression..if this is the case then please reduce or stop social media visits for few days till you come out of your disturbed state completely…
Some of you might feel that Rihan is lucky that as he has received so much help from friends but we dont have such friends. Then we have to remmber that in such a case you are your best friend. Nobody can help you untill you start helping yourself.You can understand yourself better than anyone else. You can stand for yourself..you are always there for you and that is amazing…come on ..decide that I will not depend on anyone ..I will help myself..I am my best friend..I CAN DO IT….
- Strat up writing your negative thoughts or share them with someone who can understand you.
- Exercise every day. If you are not feeling like to do exercise then do things which you like eg dancing over music, doing zumba, simple strechings.. bring variations to your physical activities.
- Riding bicycle, swiming, gyming, learning new dance forms are also good options.
Breathing exercises, pranayams are pivotal in everyday routine. - Read Spiritual and positive books at least 10 mins in a day.
- PRAY to suprime Almighty…Prayer carries immence positive force which is an amazing thing to experience…it has its own importance..Practice it everyday…
- Start with one or two positive affirmations in a day ..remind those to yourself throughout a day.
- Sit with stright posture..walk with confidence..visualise yourself carrying immence confidence.
- Have nutritious breakfast.Eat on time at regular intervals. Eat healthy. No junks…remember you want to pull yourself out of depression..you have to be disciplined in food and exercise.
- Try to keep smile on your face..if possible to spread smile and happiness..be humerous..
- Help others in studies and work ..even if you dont like some people ..be helpful and kind towards them..you are taking care of your self by doing good to others..so do it..
- Keep some physical activity/music/creative activity for evening….No mobile games or videos after eveing hours…
- Write your qualities honestly and read them before going to bed or early moring every day..this activity definitely helps to improve self esteem.
- Follow a routine and appreciate yourself after doing things on time.
- Its a good idea to Reward yourself with gifts or treats. Treat yourself respectfully.
- Visit to greenaries..gardens, mountains, sea, natural beauties..do it ..you will surely feel difference.
- Participate in social service activities..serving others reduces fear..it is self rewarding too..
- Pracice Gratitude..list down the things you are bleesed with..
- Take care of yourself ..Be kind to yourself..
Remember, Depression is curable ..you can take this state of mind as an opportunity to develop yourself..focus on self growth during this stage rather than going into more negativity.
NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE EVEN THE WORD IMPOSSIBLE SAYS I M POSSIBLE !!!
